


I Realized Something.

by NuclearNerves



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, If anyone has any info on how to tag this fic please let me know, Internal Monologue, I’ve never submitted anything to ao3 before, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 22:48:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21435976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NuclearNerves/pseuds/NuclearNerves
Summary: Aziraphale has some thoughts after Crowley hands him his bag of books.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	I Realized Something.

_“Little demonic miracle of my own. Lift home?”_

I realized something. 

The first thing I realized was how often I felt relief when seeing you. 

Enemies shouldn’t feel so comfortable around each other, should they? 

Things like relief, safety, comfort, even joy when they come across the figure of the being who is supposed to cause you nothing but distress. It passed my mind a few times that maybe that was all apart of your devious plan, to lower my guard just enough to betray me when the time came. I had thought that I finally caught you in the act of betrayal, all those years ago. I had thought that it had accumulated to you trying to use me for my connection to heaven for your own personal gain. 

I had clung to that thought, until now. 

Enemies don’t make an agreement to stay out of each other’s hair when business gets in the way, and even help each other when it does. Enemies don’t take each other out for lunches and share drinks from time to time. And enemies certainly don’t come to the other’s aid in times of need. That’s something entirely more suited for friends. So, perhaps friends would be more honest. 

Have we been being honest, though?

Can you answer something for me? 

Do friends run into churches when it burns their feet? Do friends save each other when it risks their neck? Do friends make miracles happen to save something as small as a pile of books? Do friends run back to each other after a huge fight to help, even when the last thing they heard from that person wasn’t very friendly at all? Do friends care that much? Are all demons this friendly?

Or is that just you? 

I realized something else. 

Just how long have you been doing this? How many times has a kind gesture or a favour from you slipped under my radar? Perhaps you’re trickier than I’ve given you credit for. You’ve always been slick, but this… this is almost cruel. 

But certainly not as cruel as I have been. 

How long? How many times have you told me, and I was too preoccupied to listen? How many notes have you slipped right under my nose, and how many times have I turned it up? When you reached out for help, considering all the times you’ve helped me, how many times have I slapped your hand away? What language were you speaking in? Was it one I could understand? What game are you playing at? How long have I been playing along? 

Why do you keep playing, if you know neither of us will win?

...Why do I?

Did you always look like this? Sleek and smooth, beautiful by moonlight, clean and sharp? Did your voice always sound like my favorite song? Did touching your hand always feel like waking up to a warm sunrise? How many glasses of wine, luncheons, seats at the theater, or cups of coffee at cafes have I missed like this?

Did you always drive so darn fast? Good lord. 

Enemies don’t feel comfortable around each other. 

They don’t feel safe, and warm, and pleasant. They don’t laugh at each other’s jokes, they don’t smile in passing, they don’t plan to get together again sometime. They don’t remember minute details of each other’s interests, plan for the future together, and they certainly don’t risk their lives for another. 

However. 

Something tells me that friends don’t stand at their window, watching the other drive away, and feel a miserable loneliness, missing the other already. 

Do they?

I have a lot to think about.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I’m Nuke.
> 
> I don’t write fanfiction very often, or at all. Sometimes things like this come to me in a flash haze of inspiration and I try to write it down before I forget. Something I’m trying to live by is to get all my ideas out on paper, even if they’re not very good. Otherwise, they might never see the light of day, or even get a chance to become good at all. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this very tiny snippet of one of those ideas, please let me know if you did. My favorite thing to write is forbidden love, so you can see why good omens is a honey pot for me, haha.
> 
> I have a vague idea for something similar with Crowley, so I might tack another chapter of this on at a later date. 
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


End file.
